Jokes about traffic cops

What kind of anecdotes are not written about traffic cops, or gaytsy, or traffic police officers — the inspectors of the road patrol service have a lot of epithets. And as soon as they are not called by the people … We have put together a small selection for you. Read, cheer up and do not violate traffic rules.

The excess weight of so many DPSniks can be legendary. A young cop comes — slender and sonorous and after a couple of years you will not recognize him — turns into a pot-bellied bumpkin who, not only will not catch up with the offender, he will hardly tie his own laces.

Doctors, noticing such a trend, sounded the alarm and urged drivers not to drink while driving, so as not to pay off the cops later. They say DPSniks begin to eat well and gain weight by leaps and bounds — by 10 kg per month. So the slogan was born: «Driver, save the traffic police from obesity — do not get drunk behind the wheel.»

A pretty girl says: “An uncle with a striped stick stopped me. He introduced himself, asked to go into his car. Silently left, passed. We sit. Sopim. Such a cop — why don’t you offer me anything? I — marry me! The uncle laughed for a long time, and then let go. «

It is known that the bosses of the cops are inviolable, even if they have committed some kind of offense. If the boss exceeds the speed, then no one will penalize him. Well, if the traffic policeman fined and slowed down the authorities, then he himself will have to pay.

A car is flying along the track. The traffic policeman waves a stick, demanding to stop. He comes up to the car, it seems, reports about speeding and says that the fine must be paid.

The driver calmly takes out his wallet and hands it to the guy — take as much as you need. Having rounded his eyes, the cop takes it, opens it and sees — in one department bucks, in another wooden, in the third — a business card on which is written «Police General».

Hiccuping with fear, the Gaets reports: «Allow me to report, Comrade General?»

“Yes, report, report, just don’t mix up the currencies,” he replies.

A man goes to himself in a Zhigulenka and goes, taking his mother-in-law to visit. And then, as luck would have it, a Gaets with his striped stick demands to pull over to the side of the road.

Well, he moved out, sits waiting. Gadget comes up and starts checking with passion:




The man breathed — everything is fine.


The guy shows. And then everything is fine.



Realizing that there is no way to get hold of here, the traffic policeman sighs heavily and is already turning around to leave, when he hears a squeaky old woman’s voice from the back seat of a Zhigulen woman: «Well, goat, did you manage to dissolve my son-in-law for a fine?»

Delighted, the Gaets begins to rub his little hands: «And this is already an insult in execution»


Two burglar friends accidentally climbed into Gaits’s house. At first they wanted to scuffle, but then they decided to look around. Crazy from what they saw, in the morning, barely waking up, both went to the police school and applied for admission.

You keep talking, these guys are scoundrels, scoundrels and bribe-takers. And I’ll tell you this — they are the kindest souls. One inspector lives in my stairwell. Whenever I turn to him for money, he will always give in debt.

That’s it …

Photos from open sources internet and